Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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