Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
