i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
