My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
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