I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
