I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
