I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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