Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
