u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
