Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
