All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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