nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
