Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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