Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
