Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
