How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think my nap took me to another dimension
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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