i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
