i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
