her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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