:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
