It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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