You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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