I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
