still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
