Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
