Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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