i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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