so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
