just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I am full of burrito and curiosity
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
