It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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