haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
