i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
