Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I lost the right to judge tonight
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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