so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
