i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
