Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
