I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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