omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
