you mean i was at the winter classic?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
