Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We're not piercing ourselves today.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
