We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
