like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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