Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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