woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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