we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
