Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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