I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
