Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
