I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
