Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
