Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
