honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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