I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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