i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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