i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
