im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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