I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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