A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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